


to build a cage

by aanathemaa



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Bad Parenting, Billy gets lost in all of it, Blood, Brotherly Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Minor Character Death, Neil is a piece of shit, Other, Period-Typical Racism, Physical Abuse, References to Drugs, Susan is a piece of shit, Violence, and Max is done with it all, my feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 17:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12893550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aanathemaa/pseuds/aanathemaa
Summary: Billy liked to break things when he couldn't fix them, or didn't want to bother fixing them. He liked to break things and, in the process, break people too. It was the only control he learned.





	to build a cage

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: I write a lot of drabbles, but I never post anything here because they usually suck. This is my first post here so please be gentle. Haha.

Billy liked to break things when he couldn't fix them, or didn't want to bother fixing them. He liked to break things and, in the process, break people too. It was the only control he learned. 

The shattered pieces of Max's snow globe covered the wet kitchen floor. She was standing in the doorway when Billy threw it down with enough force to ruin it, like with most things he touched. It had been a gift from Lucas, a yard sale score, Billy knew.

"Don't look at me like that. This is your fault." Billy said quietly, his voice hoarse, but there was anger in his tone. And Billy expected screaming, he expected punching, but then her frown faded for a bit and she didn't look as angry anymore. Billy could have taken all that anger and swallow it down, feed from it, like he did countless times before, but Max's glassy blue eyes, the redness creeping up on her little nose and the sob she let out soon after were things Billy only witnessed once or twice, and it terrified him. He watched, unable to move, as Max knelt down, her sobs louder and more frightening, trying to pick up the broken pieces of glass with her tiny bare hands.

Billy seemed fixed on the spot until he saw the blood on her hands, an all too familiar sight, one that brought him on his knees next to Max in a heartbeat, snatching her arms and shaking her good.

"What are you doing?" he asked, nervous and scared and not in control at all. But Max didn't say a word, the only sounds escaping past her lips being whimpers that she couldn't hold back any longer. "Stop that!" Billy shouted, angry at her, at himself and his helplessness. Max struggled, trying to escape his grip and carry on picking up the pieces, but Billy was picking her up in his arms, hurrying through the house to get to the bathroom. 

When Max stopped squirming and hitting, Billy sat her on his knees, reaching around her to turn on the faucet. Carefully, he ran her hands under the lukewarm water, picking glass from her damaged palms, making sure none were left behind. There was something about this that made him feel like throwing up and it wasn't Max's blood. No, it wasn't, he was used to blood. He wasn't used with his sist- step sister's blood, sure, and it was disturbing, but it wasn't what made him feel like he was going to choke.

When he was done, he settled Max on the edge of the bathtub.

"Stay."

He stormed out and returned just as quickly with bandages and some cream he found, his hands a little too shaky. Max was looking at him now, tears still on her rosy, freckled cheeks, but there was a sort of ice in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. It somehow let him knew that she was a sharp thing too and he could cut himself. 

And then it happened, then he cut himself.

"I hate you."

Three words Billy has heard before a thousand times... and yet.

And yet he didn't remember them stinging as much as they did now, he didn't remember the hair on his arms standing up or his stomach twisting. There was no resolve in Max's eyes, she just put it all on a plate for him, a truth he seemed to have trouble swallowing.

Billy looked down and took her by one of the wrists and started working. He could spit these words right back, the anger was surely there, but he couldn't find the venom, couldn't convince himself of the feeling anymore. The anger was there, but it wasn't for Max.

Hating was easy for Billy, smoothing his way through the bullshit, indifference even more so, but caring.. caring was hard. Caring implied far too many things that Billy wasn't willing to face, to sacrifice, to let go. Caring was a car ride so rough and bumpy even Billy didn't want to be on it, and Billy fucking loved driving. 

When did that happen?

With his mother gone so early, California seemed to be his last refuge. He could drink booze and pop some pills, swim in the ocean and bathe in the sun, and just forget about it all for a moment; about the image of blood on his mother's lips, her hallow eyes as the paramedics carried her away, about the bruises and the cuts and the scars that followed.

Then Susan came, with long legs and a pretty face, a woman that although didn't seem to fit next to his father by the looks, had a cowardice that Billy hated and understood at the same time. Still, she had made a choice where he didn't have any. 

He can vaguely remember the first time she brought Max around, a redheaded mess of a girl. She seemed though, rough around the edges, wild, unlike many girls her age, and maybe Billy would have given her a chance if it wasn't for the fact that she was the reason they left California behind and, with it, whatever peace Billy still had. A nice, small town life to keep the girl safe, his father had said. Where I won't be able to escape you anywhere, Billy didn't add. 

He remembers how he taught her to skate, how she fell down one time and sprained her wrist and barely cried, how he took her to the hospital and fixed her up, and how his father tore into him for impressions. He remembers how the first horror movie she saw was with him, cuddled close on an old, uncomfortable couch, laughing together at the stupid characters and their dumb decisions, all before he found out that they'll be moving to Hawkins.

After that it all went downhill. He would ignore her for the most part, but the anger did get to him. He would shout at her, scare her and push her away, and the more confused she looked, the angrier he got. He never stopped sheltering her though, he just stopped trying to make it seem okay that no matter what happened, whether it was his fault or not, his father was going to go after him. 

"If you get in trouble, I get in trouble so don't play me Max." he had told her before their trip to Hawkins.

The more aggressive his father got, the more Billy tried to control her, but Max was a wild thing, like him, and he couldn't always keep her at bay, especially since puberty hit and she became more of a rebel with each passing day. So Billy started breaking her things in an effort to establish some rules, one being: you disobey me, I break your stuff.

Neil had never touched her, never bruised her, but there were a couple of times when it almost happened, a couple of times Billy's heart skipped a beat. The closest his father ever got to that was during one evening when Susan was supposed to be with Max at home, but she forgot about her hair appointment and made Billy watch her instead. Max was playing with Billy's old basketball in the living room and he had warned her to be careful, even if her mother told him not to worry, to let her be. It was past six and Billy was in his room when he heard the noise of a heavy thing falling and breaking, and the sound of the front door opening soon after.

Billy hurried down the stairs and saw Neil standing in the living room, looking at the mess Max had made of his TV, one of the few things Neil gave a shit about.

"Girl, how many times did I tell you not to play in the living room?" he asked as he took a couple of steps towards her. And she was terrified, Billy could see it on her face. "How many times?" Neil yelled when she didn't answer and Max winced.

"Come here." his father gestured with his hand and God, was he angry, but Max took a step back instead. "I'm sorry- I- I didn't-" she tried to apologize, to explain, but Neil snapped. He started walking towards her and she was backing away quickly, "Girl, you will come to me when I tell you to." he almost grabbed her by her hoodie when Billy walked into the living room too and firmly said, "It was me. I let her play with it.".

Neil stopped in his tracks to turn around and stare at Billy. Billy swallowed hard at the glare and it wasn't long before he found himself pushed into the wall by his neck, air knocked out of him. "You were supposed to watch her?" Neil asked, tone calm, but a storm underneath it. "Yes." was all Billy could mutter before his father let go and with shaking hands he reached for his belt. Billy didn't move an inch. He wasn't going to avoid this and run away, leave Max alone with him, even if he was so angry, angry at Susan and angry at Max and angry at his piece of shit father. He saw her behind Neil, next to the broken TV, tearful and scared. 

 _Why are you the one crying, you little shit?_ Billy wanted to scream at her, _You're not the one taking the fall for this. You have no right._

And Neil hit him. As many times as he could with as much force as he pleased. It was his favorite TV after all. It hurt, but it was what it was and he was going to face it with dignity, Billy told himself. Better than watching Max take a single slap. He hated her, but never enough to let Neil near her when he was angry. Something about that made his skin crawl more than the thought of taking a beating.

It all only really stopped a couple of minutes later, when Susan came home and Neil let go of Billy in silence to go look one more time at what Max had done, telling his new wife that they needed to buy another TV as soon as possible.

"You're going to go to your room and gather every cent you have lying around and bring it to me, boy. You're going to learn to take responsibility for your mistakes." Neil said pointedly before walking into the kitchen, past Max.

Susan stared at Billy from the front door, at the red lines on his arms and neck, and at the busted lip, but then she looked away and said nothing, not even when she learned that Billy took the beating because she allowed Max to play with the basketball in the living room and Max broke the TV. Billy fucking hated Susan.  

Later that night Max sneaked into his room. He was looking in the mirror, trying to figure out how to hide some of the bruises and worrying about gas money, because he was sure as hell that he wasn't going to ask Susan for any.

"Are you okay?" she asked, nervous, and Billy turned to look at her with disdain. "Get out."

"Billy, I'm sorr-"

"Max, get the fuck out of here." 

With that she left. And he wanted to punch a wall because _fuck it all_.

And then, in Hawkins, Max met Lucas Sinclair. Not just that, but she had a crush on him. Billy knew that meant trouble and with his father's hand slipping so much these days, he feared he was going to double his target and really add Max to the list. Neil's opinion of certain people wasn't right, and, in small towns like Hawkins, it wasn't very controversial. Billy guesses this is another reason why Neil liked old, boring fucking Hawkins more than he ever liked California. California was a melting pot and mixing was not in his father's taste.

So Billy made a point to make sure Max wasn't being stupid, but as always, she had other plans: sneaking around, disappearing and disregarding everything he told her. He was sick of it, sick of getting so many beatings because of her. When he found her with Lucas at the Byers' home he just lost it. Lucas Sinclair had to stop being the reason why Max had no problem with fucking up Billy's life and maybe even hers in the process. He wasn't sure at whom his father was going to aim his next blow if he found out about this.

It was then that Max started to really hate him, but she had no idea, the little shit. She wasn't grateful for what Billy did to keep them both away from trouble. 

And now that he was done bandaging the nasty cuts, now that he was looking her in the eye once again, it hit him... it hit him why Max reacted the way she had to the broken snow globe. She just wanted to be a kid and have some sort of normality in her life: skate, fall down and get up again, have friends and meet boys, dance with her crush and have her first kiss, things Billy still managed to have somehow, when he was with his mother.

It made him feel sick that it took him so much time to realize this, but he was too busy surviving with his father under the same roof, and keeping Max safe, to notice that she wasn't acting out, that she was just acting like any other kid would have. He tried to keep her away from trouble and away from Neil and in the process he had built her a cage, a similar one to the one built by his father. He had broken one too many things and, in the process, he broke Max as well. He may have never truly laid a hand on her, bruise her the way Neil bruised him, but she was still hurting.

"I know." he said because he understood her hate now. 

"You don't know shit, Billy." she snatched her hands away from him and walked past him out of that bathroom. 

**Author's Note:**

> To clarify some things about this piece: I wrote this because I really want to see their relationship develop into something better despite what's happening to Billy at home. Billy is abusive to Max on a psychological level, but I feel like there's room for improvement there, room for understanding and development. I want them to succeed at being brother and sister despite not being related and despite their shitty parents.
> 
> Feelings, yo.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Means a lot!


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